


Reconcile

by wasabi_girl1



Category: Lost
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-31
Updated: 2010-05-31
Packaged: 2017-10-09 19:51:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/90945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasabi_girl1/pseuds/wasabi_girl1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sawyer needlessly searches for the consolation he knows he does not deserve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reconcile

Reconcile

Cold blood. Sawyer could feel the soft brush of familiarity pulse through him. He had shot an Other point-blank, without flinching. It had felt so good. The one true release.

He had promised himself that after he killed his parents' murderer that it would all end. At one time, Sawyer had been naïve enough to believe that there was such a thing as an end. But he could never stop, he was too far in. His only redemption was the sight of bullet-ridden flesh.

There was no turning back now.

"Sawyer." The single word floated in the midst of his thoughts. He turned to find Sun standing alone.

"Yes, Sun?" He tried to make his voice gruff and nonchalant. The way it should have been. There was no love lost for him from Sun, he knew that. He had already earned her mistrust. Deservedly.

That didn't make it any less agonizing.

She had never judged him like the others had, and he had thought – _hoped_ – that it would stay that way.

Sun watched the brief flicker of regret flash across Sawyer's face. There were so many questions she had for him. Why her? Why had he chosen her as a part of his con? Why not Claire? Why not Rose? Jin had been so completely furious when she had been attacked, that had been Sawyer's intent. But was that all Sawyer had wanted?

Or had he wanted her to break apart?

Regardless of his answers, truths or lies, she knew nothing would satisfy. Because try as she might, she could not hate him. She could not keep the angry glint in her eyes. She was forgiving to a fault.

And maybe that would be her ultimate revenge.

Sun leaned closer to Sawyer, placing a chaste kiss on his cheek. "Thank you."

"For what?" Sawyer choked out, bewildered and mesmerized.

Sun glanced back at Jin _…and Sayid and Bernard_.

"Thank you for going back for them."

Sawyer wanted it to be that simple. He had saved her husband's life. But the rush of blood in his ears told him, time and again, that nothing was ever so simple.

He nodded, unable to speak, afraid of the words that might tumble out. Certain that he would frighten Sun away like a gentle, delicate bird.

Nonetheless, she turned and left, forgetting to give him her familiar smile.

Leaving Sawyer to consider the absolution that he did not deserve.


End file.
